Confidence is a powerful feeling when you have it because it can make you feel unstoppable and on top of the world. However, when you struggle with confidence, you often get uncomfortable in new situations and unfamiliar places.

But where comes this lack of confidence from, and how to get more confidence? And why a good first introduction can help?

Where lack of confidence comes from?

Lack of confidence can come from many places. Be it from family or other people that say, “You could never do that.” Or you make yourself believe that you can’t do a certain job or activity. Also, when you are an inner self-critic and tell yourself you can’t or you are not good enough.

Bad experiences can lead to self-doubt. Especially if you constantly compare yourself to others, you can struggle a lot with confidence. We all have moments of self-doubt and lack of confidence. It can keep you in a bad job or poor relationship, and you stop moving forward in your life or career.

The difference is confident people believe in themselves and have a positive mindset, while doubtful people feel more insecure about themself and their decision.

How to get more confidence?

You need to ask yourself, where do you have a lack of confidence, and when do you get negative emotions of self-doubt? Where your skills and abilities are limiting you? Where do you like to have more confidence?

The more you get specific, the easier it is to find what you can improve to become more confident. It is a good idea to identify your struggles and may even write down where you want to have more confidence.

Think about the times when you felt most confident. What made you feel so empowered? In what environment were you and what you were doing? The more you focus on this moment, the easier it will get to tap into it when you need it.

One way to lose confidence, you try to be someone else. If you decide to be someone you are not, you doubt yourself because you are not yourself. So it helps a lot to understand who you are and what values you have to offer.

Find out what makes you unique, and also write down what your values are and what is important to you.

Many people spend way too much time improving their skills and changing. But what they forget is to acknowledge the talents, skills, and successes they already have. It is a good idea to think about what you did well weekly, where you felt good, and what made you proud of yourself.

Nothing makes you lose confidence more than comparing yourself to others, especially with social media, where it is way easier to judge yourself against others. Better focus on how far you have come and how much improvement you made, and what your wins and successes are.

Try self-talking; for example, you can for three weeks every day repeat a sentence like “I am enough” or “I am confident.” It may sound a little bit corny, but it can have a powerful effect. Especially if you don’t just say it but deeply feel it at the core of who you are.

What is also helpful is if you step out of your comfort zone and take new opportunities to create new experiences.

Abilities are directly linked to confidence, so when you learn a new skill, you struggle lesser with self-doubt. Especially for instance, if you gain knowledge on how to make deeper conversations and practice presenting and talking more freely in front of strangers.

Our mind easily tricks us into having self-doubts in different situations. However, if you change your physical and mental state, you can increase your confidence a lot. Here are strategies that you can use:

• Think about the time when you were feeling truly confident. And relive this feeling deeply and moment by moment with every detail.
• Imagine how you would feel if you were confident at the moment and how you would act, feel, and be.
• Find a person that you think has good confidence and ask yourself what the person would do in your situation.

Confidence also depends on the people you surround yourself with. There are a lot of benefits if you spend time with people that encourage you, show positivity, and are an inspiration. When people “get you” and see your greatness, it boosts your energy a lot.

Often it is better if you don’t think about something too much and try it out right away. You gain momentum, and it is easier to keep going. For example, if you want to introduce yourself and speak to a stranger, it is better not to hesitate.

With confidence, you can seize potential opportunities and take more chances and make the bigger steps in your life and career.

Why do many struggle with first introductions

One thing you may struggle with and make you feel uncomfortable is being in situations at a party, a meetup, or a conference where you don’t know any attendees. What do you do? You go into the corner and pretend to be on your phone because you don’t know how to start a conversation. And maybe you ask yourself why you are so awkwardly?

Many people feel anxious about meeting new people and being the new person in the room. The fear of strangers starts with child development at the early age of 6 months. Later this feeling is even more supported because parents and teachers warn their children against talking to strangers.

But same time, we have a fear of being excluded from different groups. Modern culture states that only losers are incapable of finding a community.

It is why we feel anxious in new situations and still want to fit in.

When you are meeting someone new most people use the same script the name, what is your job, where are you from…

These scripts may prevent users from becoming too overwhelmed. But they can also make us feel anxious Because we don’t think about how we can handle new situations. So if you want to get better at being new, you have to adopt a different mindset.

You can try one of these three approaches:

Coach Mindset: You think of a new situation as training, so you improve yourself and get better with feedback and practice.

Gamer Mindset: Every new situation is like a social video game where you try to win by becoming better each time you find yourself in an unfamiliar position. As our approach to life is often too serious, it can be a good idea to turn it sometimes into a fun challenge.

Beginners Mindset: You walk into new situations and get excited because you can learn something new. It helps you to accept any mistakes as those are of a beginner and not a personal sign of failure.

How can you make a good first impression?

Confidence starts with a proper and successful introduction. The problem is many people are afraid to introduce themselves and wait for others to make the first move.

It is understandable when you fear you will make a poor first impression. But it is better to make a bad first impression than not introduce yourself at all.

To overcome this, you need to create an introduction strategy. Find an appropriate time and greet the people you want to talk to. Then give your name and say who you are and why you want to introduce yourself. It is a good idea if you ask that you are not disturbing something important.

Remember to be respectful and listen to what other people share about themself. It can be helpful to establish a good relationship with the people. When you don’t know what to say, ask questions about the other person, it shows respect and interest. The goal is to find out what you have in common and how you can make future connections.

For instance, if you are at your new job, you can say what your position is and why you should know each other. It can be helpful if you write down some details after a conversation with a new colleague so you can avoid struggling with anxiety in future situations.

Practice remembering names as this shows respect and flatter others, and you make a good impression. You can use some of these useful name-recall strategies:

• If you have a friend with the same name as the stranger you just met, visualize the friend standing next to the new person.
• Imagine the new person’s name is written across their face.
• Repeating a new name during the conversation is a good method to help your brain process it. You can say something like “Hello Tom, nice to meet you” and maybe at the end of the meeting, “Bye Tom.”

Don’t make multi-part questions into one, as it creates confusion where only one question gets answered. If you are new, say it, people are more willing to help you and less likely to see your question or mistakes as stupid.

The fear of rejection makes us so sensitive that anything that might signal it; we interpret wrong that even neutral behavior is evidence of dislike.

It is important to be positive and focus on giving others energy as you build new relationships. It gives people energy when they feel understood and when their opinions and ideas are validated, and you show genuine interest in them. When you listen to people, you encourage them to talk about themselves, and you show them that you appreciate and understand them.

If you don’t constantly want to impress others with your accomplishment and talk positively about them, they will remember this and tend to like your personality more.

Many people are afraid to perform in front of other people because they think there are certain talents you are born with. And when something doesn’t is as easy as we thought, we conclude we are bad at it.

Use a healthier approach to getting a better mindset where you focus on talent being developed through learning effort and practice. You need to understand your first performance says little about your talent, which is why it is unnecessary to worry about imperfections. Don’t hesitate to ask for help or feedback; others will acknowledge that you still have to learn.

Remember, your first performance isn’t an accurate representation of your talents and worthiness. Other people may don’t even notice a mistake you made as they are preoccupied with their own performance.

Conclusion

It is natural to feel anxious in new situations. But to overcome this fear of the unfamiliar, you need to change your mindset.

Being more confident is about taking action, making decisions, and seeking opportunities. Your mind bellies what you tell it, so tell yourself that you are confident and that you can do it. This will help you gain the confidence you need for a healthier, happier, and more fulfilled life.

Practicing simple techniques to introduce yourself, ask questions, and remember names can benefit you a lot when you meet new people and grow your network.

Remember, we all make mistakes at first, but the more you do it, the better you get at it.

It takes one person to believe in you, and that is yourself.

Frequently Asked Questions about How to Get More Confidence

What is self-confidence?

Self-confidence is the level of belief or trust that you have in yourself and your abilities. It is the feeling of self-assurance, self-worth, and self-respect that helps you face life’s challenges with positivity and resilience.

Why is self-confidence important?

Self-confidence is important because it can greatly impact your overall well-being, success, and happiness. It can motivate you to pursue your goals, face challenges with more ease, and build stronger relationships. On the other hand, a lack of self-confidence can lead to feelings of insecurity, self-doubt, and anxiety, which can hold you back from achieving your full potential.

What causes low self-confidence?

There are many factors that can contribute to low self-confidence, such as past experiences of failure or criticism, negative self-talk, limited beliefs, and a lack of positive feedback or validation from others. Additionally, certain mental health conditions like depression and anxiety can also affect one’s confidence and self-esteem.

How can I build my self-confidence?

There are several ways to build your self-confidence, such as practicing self-care, setting realistic goals, challenging negative self-talk, learning new skills, asking for feedback and constructive criticism, and surrounding yourself with supportive people. It’s important to remember that building self-confidence takes time and effort, but with consistent practice and patience, it’s possible to improve your self-esteem.

What’s a way to build self-confidence quickly?

A quick way to build self-confidence is to do something that makes you feel good about yourself, such as exercising, dressing nicely, or accomplishing small goals. These actions can help boost your mood and give you a sense of accomplishment, which can, in turn, make you feel more confident.

How does low self-esteem affect confidence?

Low self-esteem can greatly affect confidence because it creates a negative view of oneself and can lead to self-doubt and insecurities. When you don’t feel good about yourself or your abilities, it’s difficult to believe in yourself and pursue your goals with conviction.

Can unhelpful thoughts impact self-confidence?

Yes, unhelpful thoughts can impact self-confidence by feeding into negative self-talk and limiting beliefs. Common unhelpful thoughts include self-criticism, overgeneralization, and catastrophizing. It’s important to identify and challenge these thoughts in order to improve your confidence and overall well-being.

What are some tips for building more confidence?

Some tips for building more confidence include setting realistic goals, practicing self-compassion, celebrating small victories, taking care of your physical and emotional health, and surrounding yourself with positivity and encouragement. It’s also important to remember that confidence comes from within and to avoid comparing yourself to others.

How does trying new things help build confidence?

Trying new things can help build confidence by challenging yourself and stepping outside of your comfort zone. When you try new things, you are exposing yourself to new experiences and opportunities for growth, which can help you develop new skills and a sense of resilience.

How does self-confidence come from within?

Self-confidence comes from within because it is rooted in your beliefs and attitudes towards yourself. It’s not something that can be gained solely from external factors, like validation from others or material possessions. Developing a positive and self-loving mindset is key to building sustainable self-confidence.

What is confidence?

Confidence is a belief in one’s own abilities, qualities, and judgment.

How can I feel confident?

There are many ways to build confidence. One way is to set a goal and work towards it. Another way is to focus on your strengths and accomplishments instead of your weaknesses. You can also try reframing your negative self-talk into positive affirmations.

Why is it important to feel confident?

Feeling confident can make you feel good and motivated to achieve your goals. It can also help you build better relationships and take risks that can change your life in a positive way.

What are some ways to boost your self-confidence?

You can boost your self-confidence by learning how to be confident in your body image, developing your social skills, taking care of yourself physically and mentally, and surrounding yourself with supportive people.

What if I have low confidence?

It’s okay to have low confidence sometimes, but if it’s a persistent issue, it’s important to address it. You can start by identifying the root cause of your lack of confidence and seeking help from a therapist, coach, or support group.

Does confidence come naturally?

Some people may have a natural level of self-confidence, but it’s also something that can be developed and improved over time.

How can I develop self-confidence?

You can develop self-confidence by setting achievable goals, practicing self-care, learning new skills, and focusing on your progress and accomplishments instead of your failures.

Will being confident make me feel less anxious?

Confidence can help you feel less anxious in certain situations, but it’s important to also address the underlying issues causing your anxiety. Seeking help from a mental health professional can be helpful.

Can confidence help in relationships?

Yes, having confidence in yourself can help you build better relationships by allowing you to communicate more effectively, set boundaries, and express your needs and desires.

How can building my confidence help me achieve what I want?

Building your confidence can help you feel more capable and motivated to pursue your goals, take risks, and overcome obstacles that may come your way.